[An update for all the folks worried about being vaxxed in 2021 with mysterious GMO additions in that syringe? And because this was first written in 2013, there is no telling what has transpired in the last eight years in the wonderful world of science]
Reprint from 2013
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Hybrids and modified beings
Well, the subject disappeared for years until the emergence of Dolly, the cloned sheep. And now many believe the genetic modification business has gone crazy. Recently it was suggested that lab scientists are creating part animal-part human, 'things' in labs around the world. Chimeras on the glowing Bikini Atoll of Doctor Moreau?
They
have, for instance, embedded genes for human milk proteins into animals
and actually have herds of goats producing humanized-milk! Changes my
opinion about feta cheese. One suspects humanized sheep will be next,
and what then? Dolly Parton Lipstick wearing sheep? Will they do a remake of Brokeback Mountain with only one cowboy? It's not just ice cream that never melts or purple cauliflower and non-rot apples though. Called the Arctic Apple and it never browns or goes bad. But isn't it Nature's job to warn you that food is no longer safe or healthy by making it rot? The problem is most Governmental Food organizations have approved this for sale without labeling what they are!
Doctors
are busy building humanized animals! And you must remember that
scientists who are involved in genetic engineering research are
concerned with achieving targeted effects and may not investigate beyond
the range of their own intentions! Have you suspected
there is a reason for so many horror movies lately? You may be right
that you are being indoctrinated to the grotesque.
Now what caught my eye was this one; researchers at the University of Michigan have a method for putting a human anal sphincter into a mouse as a means of finding better treatments for fecal incontinence. This is an important endeavor. Right? But it seems like the direction is backwards, to stop anal leakage or incontinence, shouldn't they try putting the mouse sphincter into the human?
And what does the mouse think of this? The other mice are ostracizing him, saying he's just a big asshole now! What a sight! And how is he supposed to control the aperture? Everything he eats just whizzes through him. And what if he's constipated and finally goes? Will he turn himself inside-out?
Going the other way would be the answer. If old Uncle George has incontinence. You do the anal engineering and voila, little harmless mouse turds! Even if they do drop out, you can just put them in a paper bag for pea shooter ammunition!
Now what caught my eye was this one; researchers at the University of Michigan have a method for putting a human anal sphincter into a mouse as a means of finding better treatments for fecal incontinence. This is an important endeavor. Right? But it seems like the direction is backwards, to stop anal leakage or incontinence, shouldn't they try putting the mouse sphincter into the human?
And what does the mouse think of this? The other mice are ostracizing him, saying he's just a big asshole now! What a sight! And how is he supposed to control the aperture? Everything he eats just whizzes through him. And what if he's constipated and finally goes? Will he turn himself inside-out?
Going the other way would be the answer. If old Uncle George has incontinence. You do the anal engineering and voila, little harmless mouse turds! Even if they do drop out, you can just put them in a paper bag for pea shooter ammunition!
Is a pissed off Mighty Mouse with a human sphincter going to change our world?
So you
can see the progress they're making with genetically modified organisms. GMOs.
There's
hope for anal incompetence yet. No, not a typo, incompetence was the
word I wanted. Is anybody watching these scientists? Is there a
Supervisor guy somewhere who goes into their lab and wants to see what
they've accomplished?
Does he peer into the cages full of human-assholed mouses and ask WTF?
Should scientists be creating beings that are part human and part animal? Well, it is happening all over the planet. Are we ready for a virtual reality Blade Runner scenario? I think we'll be okay, they're not trying to look like us, only like parts of us. So far.
Frankenswine is a pig created with mouse DNA and E. Coli bacteria to make it environmentally friendly by decreasing it's phosphorous output. Care for an enviro pig ham sandwich that began with E. Coli?
They have also grown poplar trees that can remove trichloroethylene — the most common groundwater contaminant from the soil from US Superfund Sites. Superfund even sounds like it is a good place, yes? Well they are polluted locations with hazardous material contamination. There are 1280 of them in the USA. No mention of how these wastes actually got into the ground water, someone would have to be blamed if they told us that, but the tests so far show that the plant absorbs this ground liquid contamination into it's roots, branches and leaves and then releases it into the air. What? Have they thought this through? Don't we breath air? Where's that Supervisor guy?
Cole
slaw with your meal? Now we have venomous cabbage. Look what scientists
have done, see, they put the gene that programs the poison in a scorpion's
tail, into the cabbage so that when caterpillars bite it, they die.
Really. Someone actually thought of this! And had it in for
caterpiggles. Butterflies for pete's sakes! Were they sitting around
playing canasta when one of them thought this one up and rushed back to
his lab full of excitement and deadly ideas. Did his mom make him eat
sauerkraut? Maybe it's the scientists themselves who are the result of genetic drift!
Does he peer into the cages full of human-assholed mouses and ask WTF?
Should scientists be creating beings that are part human and part animal? Well, it is happening all over the planet. Are we ready for a virtual reality Blade Runner scenario? I think we'll be okay, they're not trying to look like us, only like parts of us. So far.
Frankenswine is a pig created with mouse DNA and E. Coli bacteria to make it environmentally friendly by decreasing it's phosphorous output. Care for an enviro pig ham sandwich that began with E. Coli?
They have also grown poplar trees that can remove trichloroethylene — the most common groundwater contaminant from the soil from US Superfund Sites. Superfund even sounds like it is a good place, yes? Well they are polluted locations with hazardous material contamination. There are 1280 of them in the USA. No mention of how these wastes actually got into the ground water, someone would have to be blamed if they told us that, but the tests so far show that the plant absorbs this ground liquid contamination into it's roots, branches and leaves and then releases it into the air. What? Have they thought this through? Don't we breath air? Where's that Supervisor guy?
Cole
slaw with your meal? Now we have venomous cabbage. Look what scientists
have done, see, they put the gene that programs the poison in a scorpion's
tail, into the cabbage so that when caterpillars bite it, they die.
Really. Someone actually thought of this! And had it in for
caterpiggles. Butterflies for pete's sakes! Were they sitting around
playing canasta when one of them thought this one up and rushed back to
his lab full of excitement and deadly ideas. Did his mom make him eat
sauerkraut? Maybe it's the scientists themselves who are the result of genetic drift!Don't know about you, but this makes me cringe, and I am expecting a herd of Chupacabra any moment.
They have this huge Atlantic salmon coming soon too. Already called Frankenfish. Modified for growth by using a hormone from an eel-fish to make it grow and grow and grow like Topsy and doesn't know where it came from! Sort of into a tuna-sized salmon. Have you seen those grotesque hook-nosed spawning salmon in the rivers? What's it going to be like when they grow to 12 feet and start coming after us? You won't be fishing for these, they'll be fishing for you! They say the FDA will approve it for sale without labeling to tell (warn) you of the genetic modification.
They made the Flavr Savr tomato years ago. They developed it by adding something called an antisense gene. Why does that somehow make sense? Didn't sell because they tasted like faded old blue jeans.
They are now tinkering with cows that produce less methane. You might know already that cows are hugely responsible for global warming and the melting of polar ice. The bovines have almost destroyed the ozone layer because their farts are methane carbon emissions. Won't your car run on methane? Why cant they divert that noxious gas to one of the udder teats and have it connect to your car? You could pull up to a farm, get a glass of milk, a round of cheese and a full gas tank! Of course a shuddering side effect might be that cows begin exploding.
We now have glow-in-the-dark pussycats, creepy little florescent felines that can't hide in the closet anymore. And beware of bananas. They have one now that can be vaccinated with a virus' genetic material that becomes a permanent part of the banana cells, thereby vaccinating YOU when you eat one. We might not even want to trust monkeys to test this one. Would the result be a super chimp who kicks Tarzan out of the tree fort and takes Jane for himself?
And they're playing with medicinal eggs too, by modifying the hens, putting miR24 in them. Take your eggs, Dear, they'll stop you from pissing yourself for 24 hours. Can they make chickens stop that infernal clucking while they're at it? Now you can get naked chicken, and I don't mean on the Chinese cafe menu, these critters have no feathers! No plucking.
And here's one; a lab grown ovary that matures human eggs! You'll be able to conceive at the lab and just pick up your baby when it's ready! Maybe even at a Baby-Lab Drive-Thru window? I'll have Baby Jane number347 and large fries.
Do we need all this genetic interference with nature? Do we need an xenotransfusion pig? Full of human blood and organs? The only genetic
manipulation I want to be involved in is that in which I participate
myself, like with the attractive widow next door. I believe some scientists will create a GMO woman if they haven't done so already, obedient, sexy, programmed for cleaning and cooking. You'll be able to buy your very own Stepford Wife!
Do we want to face it if there is a mistake? Can genetic engineering be retracted? Is someone creating Jabba the Hutt right now? Never mind the light saber, Luke, where's your salt shaker! How much messing around are they going to do before we are all mutated hideous transmogrified versions of ourselves? This is science, but it ain't science fiction!
So if you see a duck creature with brown fur swimming in a stream, leave it alone, it's a duck-billed platypus. And they lay eggs. God made it and no one can explain why .... Sort of like Humans.
